By Jeffy "Jlaix", Executive Coach for Real Social Dynamics

Hi again, Friend.

I had a few thoughts this week, from watching some
guys I was working with on program.

In our teachings, we frequently refer to something
we call "active disinterest", which is a tactic we
use to get the girls chasing US, not the other way
around.

Well, someone suggested we re-name it "tentative
interest", which I think has some merit.

To me this is all the same thing, but for some guys
this disintinction could be useful since they're
learning only from text so its important for the
terminology to be as accurate as possible.

A few pointers on this:

1- I always tell guys to focus on having fun and
being social rather than appearing to be trying too
hard to "pickup" (so as not to be perceived and
treated as the next cheesy sexually needy guy of the
night).

But that said, I assume that guys are coming across
like MEN here, and there is a sexual vibe between
them and the girls already.

Many guys I've seen though will take this too far,
which is understandable, but I think it's a mistake.

I personally will pull a lot of stripper-type stuff,
like coquettish "You can't have me" looks. But in
doing so, the fact that you're subcommunicating "you
can't have me" *assumes* that the vibe between you is
sexual.

Otherwise, the idea of her not HAVING YOU wouldn't
come up at all.. See?

Direct examples of ways to do so include quickly
turning and facing the hot girl directly, moving a
bit closer to her, and shooting a quick triangular
gaze from hard eye contact down to her lips, then
looking back up to her eyes and making a playful
smile and backing away from her a bit to turn to her
friends.

Watch the girls go insane at this.

You could then shoot her a playful nod like "Not
gonna happen". Then engage the friends a bit, even
though the hot girl knows there's something between
you, and watch her work to get your attention by
trying to cut in.

Then when she pulls her "I can get what I want" girl
jumping in front of everyone stuff to get your
validation, say "Hey! Wait your turn. How do you
guys roll with this girl?!", and then give her
another VERY sexual playful look, then back off
again. Even shoot her a touch on the shoulder
and raise your eyebrows, and back off again.

Often she'll throw herself up in your face at this
point, and from there you can work her directly because
she's chosen you.

When you're "ignoring the target", that doesn't
always mean *full* ignorance. It just means not
making the friends socially uncomfortable, so that
you can benefit from the girl thinking "Wow, my
friends love this guy", which can only help you.

It doesn't mean get preoccupied and distracted from
the goal, though, by being focused on the wrong
things.

Otherwise you'll get cases like the hot girls walking
off so their less-attractive friend can have a chance
with you.

Point is, once the girl has chosen you, you can get
her comfortable and sit her down and WORK.

For me, it is more efficient to bait the girl into
chasing me within 1-2 minutes, than to go in and have
her screening me and working against the current.

Because I have my body language and confidence down
fully, I am not concerned about being sexually needy
with my openers, and I know that the girls will take
care of this for me 90% of the time without me
having to verbally prompt them (since my body
language and vibe will do this for me).

All right. Now let me talk about something we call
"cutting in". This term is something I yell at my
wings when I see them blowing it and not getting
the girl they want.

You'll hear me yell "CUT IN!"

On average, I need only engage the group between 30
seconds to 3 minutes before I have the girl I want
chasing me.

I'm usually in the corner with my girl in about 5-10
minutes, and making out with her in about 15-20.

Sometimes I'll differ slightly in that I prefer to
extract the girl from the club and makeout at the
next venue, which I do within about 30 minutes,
although admittedly I'll do fast makeouts on
workshop just to show off even though I don't always
think its the best path at that time.

This is where many guys go wrong with the active
disinterest. I want the girl close to me ASAP
(within 6 inches of my face).

A few ways I might do this would include:

A - CUTTING IN: To cut in means to move closer to the
girl, without being jumpy or nervous or getting too
much in her face.

It's like how you would walk up to and pick up a cat
without making it run off.

I do so by turning my face sideways and looking
distracted for about half a second, and then closing
in.

Or turning my body-language, or doing it on high
points when she's giggly because she's suggestable
at that point and if she's giggly she won't object
to escalation because she's not thinking logically.

Because I don't shoot into her face too abruptly,
she doesn't get uncomfortable.

This is done with body-language. Very easy.

Most guys make mistakes here because they infringe
on personal space too quickly, and the girls lock up.

Also, because they don't look confident, it looks
premeditated and too outcome-dependent, which makes
the girls feel uncomfortable like "what's he trying
to pull?" instead of "this fun alpha guy does
whatever the hell he wants and I don't question it
because he's congruent."

Typically, I will have the girl engaged with my
palms up and her hands on mine, so I can do tests
regularly to see where she's at.

The second she's ready to be pulled, I examine the
social situation and make it happen or bridge and
then venue change, continue to solidify the bridge,
or move to the next set.

Oftentimes I am perched on a bar stool with my legs
open and her leaning in between them.

This is the IDEAL position, and is very important.

It's also great on so many levels, because you can
also put her hands on your knees, and lean back to
see if she keeps them there, etc etc.

B - Use a routine: Another quick way is to run a
routine or something (like show her something on
herself), to make her have to come up to you in
order for you to demonstrate whatever it is you're
doing. Again, quick and easy.

C - Bait: The other way isn't something you do, but
something that just happens. That's that oftentimes
the girl will see her friends liking you, and
because of this she'll practically start molesting
you. This is very common.

D-Split the set with my wing: Here you just have a
wing come in and chat the girls but ignore your
girl, and you just move your body language sideways
and engage her in a conversation, so you can work
easily here.

Notice here that regardless of how it goes down, I'm
face to face with the girl within seconds to a few
minutes (usually seconds to one minute).

This is not a case where I'm forced to engage
the set for long.

It's simple social common sense to work social
gatherings and to take the path of least resistance.

You need not do so, it's just often easier and more
consistent if you do.

The same goes for not facing the girls when you roll
in.

This is the path of least resistance, and there is
definetely no harm done in doing so, but a lot of the
time, it can help to make it open more smoothly.

That said, it is important not to forget that the second
she earns it, turn and face her.

Her giving you her attention will usually happen within
1-15 seconds, and at that point you should be engaging
them completely, and running your game on them.

If it takes longer, wait. But that's an error at that point,
and you're in damage control.

So, a quick review:

Get the girl engaged ASAP. "Active disinterest" does not
mean that you are asexual.

Use it and engage the group when common sense tells
you that it is the path of least resistance. If her interest
level is at a point where don't need to, then don't.

I also recommend that guys go out and experiment
with both extremely direct approaches in addtion to
these types of active disinterest approaches. This is
the only way to gain calibration skills experimentation.

If your game is smooth, you should get good results
regardless of style. The style that you develop is
simply the most effective and consistent for you as an
individual.

At Real Social Dynamics, that's our whole reason for
existence: to help people develop and grow as not only
players but as people. :)

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Listen, I gotta run off to the ol' karaoke bar pretty
soon, so I better wrap this up. Tune in next time for
some more tips and tricks to help you take
your game to the next level.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS...And don't forget: this newsletter also serves as
a forum for subscriber questions and success stories.
Email them to me at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and
I'll answer them personally.

I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly
put to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to
you, our team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so
we can solve it in a SNAP.

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____________________________________________________

Jeffy is an Executive Coach for Real Social Dynamics. He has dated some of the world's most desired women and travels around the world as a date coach for clients while teaching seminars on how to do the same. Real Social Dynamics have conducted Live Programs for thousands of clients, including Fortune 500 executives, celebrities, college students and professionals, from over 30 different countries. _________________________________________________________________

Copyright 2005 Real Social Dynamics Inc., All Rights Reserved. "Real Social Dynamics " and "RSD" are trademarks used byReal Social Dynamics Inc.